So today is the first working day of the new year and I must admit part of me is actually looking forward to being back, the other 99.9% is still sane and knows that the sooner I get out of Centrifico Technologies and get a real job the better.
Regardless, the first day back seems interesting so far. Eddie is already four cups of coffee down, Mr Berkley is busy handing out work assignments and Doris has “welcome back” postcards for everyone featuring pictures of her cats dressed up in little suits. It’s pretty cute – nauseatingly so.
We start the day with a team meeting in the customer department meeting room which for some reason is called the Gumball Room, despite the fact that there are no gumballs or candy of any sorts anywhere near there, but I suppose “boring grey cube” room, although a more accurate description, probably doesn’t instil fake corporate happiness as much as Gumballs do.
We all gathered round waiting for Mr Berkley to address us. He started by quoting some trite slogan about the importance of customer service and how the work we do here is changing the world. Frankly, I don’t think the thousands of sales reports I generate and TPR forms I fill in are changing the world, but then again, as I am reminded more often than I care to remember, I’m not paid to think (or very much at all).
He then finished his speech and held for applause which was not forthcoming and so started a round of applause by himself. It was quite humorous, in a terribly sad sort of way.
He then proceeded to welcome some new staff members to our department. As each one of them was called into the room, there was unique and yet oddly recognisable quality to each of them which I had not seen for quite some time – the characteristic of hope and honourable ambition.
I remember those days, my first, here at in the Customer Service department – young, fresh faced and ready to change the world; the days before I knew of TPR forms, Coffee dwarves, Air Duct Wizards and Molemen; days of ignorance and innocence.
It was only as Mr Berkley welcomed the final new recruit that my heart began to sink completely to the bottom of my bowels – an anatomical feat I must add. In stepped a man who unlike the others seemed experienced, battle-hardened and single minded. He was taller and stronger than any of the new recruits and as I looked at him I had a terrible feeling that my days at Centrifico Technologies were sure to change.
All I could do in that moment was to feebly ask “Dad? What are you doing here?”