Tag Archives: mole men

Chapter 15: Of Mice and Molemen

Dear Journal

I stood stunned partly from fear and also due to the faulty wiring in the cubicle. The Moleman could speak, and particularly well I might add. The fact that he had been expecting me unnerved me even further. I needed to know more.

“How do you know who I am?” I asked, trying to mask the slight trembling in my voice.

There was an awkward silence before he replied. “I’ve been reading your Journal, Chris. You really should use a more encrypted file format, otherwise just about anyone could read your work”

“Why on Earth would any sane creature want to read my weekly journal?”

“It’s actually pretty entertaining, but it was because of this journal that I needed your help. You see all is not what it should be down here in the IT department. A great evil has descended upon us and I fear that only someone with your skills can defeat it”

I wasn’t sure what skills he was referring to, I hoped that it was my adventuring and dragon slaying and not my ability to type out TPR reports and alphabetise customer complaints. Nevertheless, I was so excited to hear of this perilous evil that I giggled like a school girl, which I fear may have made him second guess his decision to request my help.

Trying to hide my excitement I asked what exactly was this “great evil”. His response seemed ludicrous at first, but the terror in his shiny little slit eyes spoke the truth, a truth that was further magnified by his two gigantic glass eyes that were slowly sliding down his nose. He responded with only two words “Jock Nerd”.

I knew vaguely what these terms meant in isolation, but had never heard of a “Jock Nerd”, in fact as far I was concerned Jocks and Nerds had always been mortal enemies and never been allowed to intermingle let alone interbreed.

“I can see you are struggling to believe me,” said the rodent-like IT guy”, but I will show you the foul beast if you would just walk this way”.

He then scurry around on the floor taking cover behind cubicle walls and old monitors, I wasn’t sure I could actually emulate such a feat, but I did as was instructed as difficult as it was.

As we scurried through the dimly lit passages I noticed the gleaming of several pairs of eyes reflecting their respective monitors. Hundreds and hundreds of cubicles each filled with molemen and women (not that I could actually tell the difference). There were hundreds of them and yet they were all in grave fear of this “Jock Nerd”.

And then suddenly our scurrying came to an abrupt halt as behind a pile of discarded ink cartridges. I took a moment to catch my breath before poking my head from my inky vantage point.

And there he stood… more Giant than Mole, a towering mass of brains and muscles… I could only manage but whisper his name… “Jock Nerd”

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Posted by on June 17, 2011 in journal


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Chapter 14: Land of the Molemen

Dear Journal

As I approached the stairwell that lead to the bowels of Centrifico Technologies a sudden and terrible realisation came over me. It was a strange sensation, unlike any I had felt before. I felt a sense of purpose, for the first time in my career here.

I descended each step cautiously, but urged on by the responsibility of this task, knowing full well that without me those TPR forms would never be completed, and then I would have to fill in a RQ27 form resulting in our customers getting a further 1% rebate on their accounts for late delivery. The horror of which was unimaginable.

I didn’t quite know what that meant, but it was all the motivation I needed, as the RQ27 report sounded even more tedious. Besides, I’m sure everyone would be very grateful if I succeeded, (well except our customers who would prefer the 1% rebate).

The stairs seemed to descend into the very Earth itself. Each level was hotter and darker than the level above, until finally I reached the lowest floor, basement level B7… the myths were true! Although this brought very little consolation as my mind wandered through the many other myths that shrouded this labyrinth, most notably that a species of 4 eyed “molemen” ruled this land, and that no one had ever left here alive.

I moved through the darkened corridors slowly and with great caution. The cubicles seemed very similar to ours except outside each lay strewn a graveyard of computer hardware. Monitors; keyboards; old speakers, and various other pieces of gadgetry, some of which appeared to predate civilization itself, lay piled outside the cubicles.

I had to find a way to get to the cause of the server malfunction. I managed to summon the courage to peer inside one of the cubicles armed only with my mysterious elixir that Rudy the Janitor had bestowed on me. I still had no idea what I was supposed to do with this elixir, but one thing that working at Centrifico Technologies has taught me is nobody actually knows what they are supposed to be doing; that and don’t eat the chicken mayo from the canteen.

I searched through the empty cubicle, which was littered with half eaten meals, empty soda cans and with more pirated DVD’s than one could imagine. It was at this point that I realised I was not alone in the cubicle.

Someone else was in there. Something…

My heart began to race as I slowly turned around ready to see my end.

There in the “doorway” stood a creature which fit the description many had given me of one of those “molemen”. He was about 5foot, had long greasy hair that was tied back into a pony tail andfour eyes – two of which appeared to be made of glass and two that looked like two horizontal coin slots as they squinted to see me in the dim glow of the PC.

He wore a t-shirt that had written some strange coded language. From what I could make out between the coffee stains and burger crumbs it appeared to read “n00b pwn-age ftw!” I had little time to try decipher this message as he inched closer towards me, presumably as he had picked up my scent.

Taking several deep breaths I eventually managed to summon the strength to speak.

“My name is Chris and I need to speak to someone about the Server crash”.

Surprisingly, the beast not only seemed to understand me, but replied in perfect English (these molemen must have been studying our culture for many years now).

“I know who you are Chris”

“We’ve been expecting you”

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Posted by on June 13, 2011 in journal


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