It is now 21:17 and I have 170 more of these TPR reports to do. The office is a completely different place after dark. For one it is much warmer than usual, possibly because the air conditioning has been switched off, or because the evil wizard that lives in my air duct is asleep…either way my deodorant spell has worn off.
There aren’t too many people around the office except for the zombies in the call centre and a couple of IT guys who are using company bandwidth to download ISO’s and Torrents. While I recognise all those words in isolation, I’m certain through all my other dealings with IT that they almost certainly don’t mean what I think they mean.
22:08 161 reports to go.
One other character that is present at this time of the evening is Phil, the night watchman. As if I wasn’t already afraid of the grossly deficient defences of this glass fortress, the fact that there is only one guard on duty during the night shift is absolutely terrifying. Thank god for the booby traps in my cubicle or I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.
22:58 142 reports to go.
I fear I may be becoming addicted to Coffee. Which is strange, since it looks like sludge, smells like sludge and tastes even worse, yet I can’t seem to go 30mins without a cup.
00:00 121 reports to go
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually miss the constant interruptions from Eddie the Coffee dwarf. They are far less unnerving than the soulless groans and blood chilling screams that are coming from the Call Centre. I think I’m starting to hallucinate from too much coffee…or too little? I should get more coffee to be sure.
03:20 67 reports to go
I had a long discussion with Phil about his work as a night watchman. Turns out he used to be a professional athlete; at least I think he said that. I’m not sure what he said. I’m not even sure if I was talking to Phil or the mountain of empty coffee cups on my desk.
06:00 10 reports to go
I am almost done with these stupid reports, when my alarm clock goes off.
I am tired, I stink, there is a mountain of empty coffee mugs on my desk and I still haven’t finished these damn reports.
As the sun shines through the windows and the first few employees walk into the office fresh from their respective nights’ rest, I can’t help but think… this was not what I signed up for…